If i come over, it means nothing
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
