if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I have demons in me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
