hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize