when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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