dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
