I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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