You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
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Are my feet made of real feet?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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