just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
