Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
