my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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