i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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