i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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