I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
