I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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