actually, I'm a sock model
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
