He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
