That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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