Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
