'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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