i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
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Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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