Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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