I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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