My balls are so social today.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize