at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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