I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.