the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you