I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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