So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
they need to just BURY HIM!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
