Already got asked if we're dating
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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