Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
