More tranny stories later!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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