Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
