i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!