Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I told you penises don't tan
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad