And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
