we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me