I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
