Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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