i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
