It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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