I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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