do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize