I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
