what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
