I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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