No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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