I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
