Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
