So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
