Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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