I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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