And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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