my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
