My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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