brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
