New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
