how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
