The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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