I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize