fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
