as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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