i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Still dying that you shit outside
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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