Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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