If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
